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D&D Group Clearly Just a Polycule Using Disguise Self

Denver, CO - Dungeons & Dragons has seen a tremendous surge in popularity over the past five years. Going from an activity groups of nerds did huddled in their mother's basement to something groups of nerds do at game stores, bars, and apparently even in sold-out arenas all over the world…

Fired Wizards of The Coast Employee Selling Beckett-Graded Pink Slip

Renton, WA - Thanks to a boom in the collectable items market, a recently fired Hasbro employee is trying to get money for his Beckett-graded firing notice. Clay Richmond, former sales manager for Wizards of the Coast, was fired for cause after being caught stealing Magic: The Gathering product, but…

Fight Your Dad in New D&D: Therapy Edition

In a surprise collab you didn't know you needed, Dungeons & Dragons has released a new Therapy Edition in partnership with BetterHelp. This new "never-ending campaign" costs $250 per session and allows players to explore the dark depths of their personal trauma. In a sneak preview, this reporter was able to see…

Creature Used To Convoke Final Fantasy Clever Concealment Questioning Everything

MAIN PHASE 2 - A 1/1 human token's understanding of reality crumbled today after being used to pay for the cross-dressing Cloud version of Clever Concealment caused them to feel all tingly inside. "When I look at them, I get this weird fuzzy…

Dockside Chef Banned Due to Clerical Error

Renton, WA - Just weeks after promising no more non-emergency Commander bans this year, Wizards of the Coast announced today that Dockside Chef has been banned retroactive to September 23, 2024.  New WotC press secretary Karoline Banitt released a brief statement on the banning:…

Man Confident his Warhammer 401k Will Beat the Stock Market

Self-proclaimed financial genius Ffej Netrig is certain he's identified a way to consistently outperform the stock market: something he's calling his "Warhammer 401k." That's right, Mr. Netrig has invested all $2,300 of his life savings into wargame miniatures. "With all this turmoil rocking the stock market every day, I tell…

New Study Finds Dice Jails Don't Prevent Future Botches

A new study from The Coalition to Reform Incarceration Tactics (CRIT) has been declared a major victory for those who oppose the current dice jail system. Dice that roll natural ones are typically sent to custom prisons where they are isolated from the larger dice society, sometimes for…

LGS to Offer "Rowdy" Draft Where You Can Throw Popcorn, Eat Cards

Shreveport, LA - Local tabletop gaming shop Gobin's Horde has announced that upcoming in-store Magic: The Gathering events will become "rowdy" drafts. A "rowdy" movie screening involves audience members actively interacting with a film in a theater, usually by reciting lines or recreating actions alongside the actors. Spurred by the…

Rogue Who Always Takes 10 Accused of Quiet Quitting The Party

The quiet quitting discussion has made its way to The Forgotten Realms, where party leaders complain young adventurers are choosing to "take 10" rather than risk rolling the dice. Conjuration wizard Zephyra Starbinder claims that her own party's rogue has been "aking 10 on rolls for months now.

Sarkhan Dangerously Close to Buying Dragon Bathwater

TARKIR - An investigation/robbery by Jeskai authorities this week discovered that Sarkhan Vol's dragon obsession is balancing on a dangerous precipice after his budget was found to have allocated funds for Dragon Girl Bathwater. "He's a dragon half the time which is neat,…

Dockside Extortionist Denied Parole

COLUMBUS, OH - Hearts were not shattered this morning when the notorious Dockside Extortionist was denied appeal for banlist parole after serving six months of a life sentence.  "What we're really worried about is recidivism." Said an unnamed board member who definitely isn't Ragavan in a fake mustache. "The card's…

Gifts Ungiven Pile Includes Griselbrand and Picture of Me Shushing You

MONTREAL, QC - April 22nd, 2025 - OPINION The Commander Banned and Restricted Announcement has landed and players worldwide are rediscovering Coalition Victory and Braids, Cabal Minion to pop into the 99 of their…

Commander Community Upset They Now Need To Remember What Sway of The Stars Does

THE INTERNET - The Commander Rules Committee issued an update to its list of banned and restricted cards. While no new bans were made, some cards were removed from the ban list, including powerful and popular choices like Braids, Cabal Minion and…

Am I The Bolas? - Moving to EDHREC (A Last One about Proxies and Power Level)

Nuka-Cola Vending Machine Illustrated by Anthony Devine I HAVE SOME NEWS Before we move ahead with the latest Am I The Bolas? article you're here for, I have some news.  You may have noticed that a couple of weeks ago, AITB was on…

Online Critic Despises Old Shakespeare Universes Beyond Magic Cards

Think Universes Beyond bringing outside IP into Magic is a recent development? Think again.

Tarkir: Dragonstorm Set Review - Minotaur

Minotaurs and dragons storm into view from Tarkir: Dragonstorm!

Tarkir: Dragonstorm Set Review - Reprints

What stormy reprints made it into Tarkir: Dragonstorm?

10 Surprisingly Expensive Commander Tokens

Those token cards cost how much? Landon reviews some token cards with heftier price tags.

Tarkir: Dragonstorm Set Review - Enemy Colors

Jeff continues the set review season with a look at the enemy two-colored cards from Tarkir: Dragonstorm and Tarkir: Dragonstorm Commander.

Tarkir: Dragonstorm - A cEDH Set Review

Looking beyond the clans and dragons for cards that will see play in cEDH? Let Cal Jones run you through the new cEDH cards from Tarkir: Dragonstorm.

Am I The Bolas? - Whoopsie, You Win

How do you feel when an act of charity ends up handing a player the win? Mike Carrozza looks at accidental kingmaking.

Amazing Commons & Uncommons from Tarkir: Dragonstorm | Part 2 - Bulk Up!

Join Tyler 'Savesya' Bucks as he digs through the bulk of Tarkir: Dragonstorm, and showcases the best commons & uncommons from the set!

Destroy All Humans: They Can't Be Regenerated, Vol. 3 [REVIEW]

Volume 3 of Destroy All Humans: They Can't Be Regenerated, written by Katsura Ise and illustrated by Takuma Yokota, is out now!

Tarkir: Dragonstorm Set Review - Red/Mardu

See if you can dive into the best new red and the Mardu cards from Takir: Dragonstorm with the same enthusiasm as Mike Carrozza!

Tarkir: Dragonstorm Set Review - White/Abzan

Looking for the best new Abzan and white cards from Tarkir: Dragonstorm? Let Michael Celani walk you through the best new Commander cards.

Tarkir Clan Leader Asks Subbordinates for List of Five Things They Did to Fight Dragons This Week

Unelected Tarkir clan leaders have asked for lists of five things clan members have done recently to fight dragons.

Pauper Commander - Abomination of Llanowar

Alejandro tackles a typal pauper EDH deck again, but this time he takes the easy path and builds around elves.